If Only
Nice song about what ifs and what could have been
Archive for August 7th, 2008
Top 10 Reasons Why Men Cheat
Why men cheat on women is an age-old question. The reasons why men cheat on women can be varied. Nevertheless, we have compiled a list of the top 10 reasons why both married and unmarried men cheat. Sometimes their reasons don’t even involve you and it’s simply an ego-based decision. Other times, reasons why men cheat can involve you and your relationship, or lack thereof.
So why do some men cheat in relationships? Almost all men know that cheating is wrong, yet many they still do it. Men will blame their reasons for cheating on their genes and their necessity to reproduce. However, aren’t we suppose to be further evolved than a chimp? Shouldn’t we be able to control our bodies through our minds and conscious decisions? Aparrently not always.
Here are the top 10 reasons why men cheat:
1. Because they had the option. The old saying “men are only as faithful as their options” can sometimes ring true. Men don’t get offered sex as often as women so when the opportunity does arise, it can be very difficult for them to turn it down.
2. It boosts their ego. Sometimes men don’t feel like they are attractive to the opposite sex any more and when a woman shows some interest, not only does a man react, he may allow her to stroke his ego and more. There’s nothing like the thrill of the chase to men on the hunt. When they are finally rewarded for their efforts, their egos swell even larger.
3. You grow apart. Maybe the two of you didn’t have as much in common as you thought. He’s met a woman who has more in common with him who loves football or plays golf. He may check out if he is compatible with her under the sheets also.
4. You argue a lot. Men will sometimes cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly on them about something.
5. He’s fallen out of love. Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don’t know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship because of children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out elsewhere. In their mind, this is as close to win-win as they can get.
Beware Of Married Men Online
Unfortunately, it is just a simple “no” when a married man responds to a query about his marital status during chatting on the internet. The internet is promoting the idea that people can go online searching for a date and a perfect life partner. Among them, some are married men who are interested in an affair. No matter how perfect these affair seekers may seem, stay away from them. No one wants to get passionate with a married man. And if you do so then you will always remain the second option for him and you’re wrecking a family. Here are some tips to identify the married men from the bachelors indirectly without letting them know.
1. Pictures – married men do not want to be caught online looking for another lady in their life. They will post something very strange or they would just e-mail their photos to you directly. By following this way they will be able to conceal the fact that they are married. Bachelors on the other hand will proudly post their picture to let the ladies know they are there and looking for someone in their life.
2. Information Sharing – this is probably the most obvious sign of them all. These guys will ask you about your personal but will not share their own personal information. They will be unfair in this aspect and will play with words and try to avoid such questions. They will ask you for your phone number but they will not give their own phone number. If you come across such traits or signs then avoid and forget about them. Even if they are not married, surely they are someone dangerous and so it is better to avoid them.
Trying to Make Him Someone He Is Not
Did you ever notice how someone who was an “okay” guy in the beginning began changing and somehow down the road lost interest in the relationship? In the beginning the romance steadily climbed and after a couple of months reached its maximum intensity, but then suddenly hit a plateau, then it was downhill from that day on.
Loving then losing the man you thought loved you have always been a mystery. And when this new boyfriend comes along you tell him immediately the things you like and do not like because you wanted to be “honest” from day one. What happened in the past shouldn’t happen again, so you tell your new man the right way to show his love, and everything would be wonderful from the very beginning, right?
Sorry, but no. It doesn’t work that way.
A lot of women automatically think that she needs to “educate” their men and “teach” him how he should love her. Or you could simply be the woman that he loves. Honestly, you can’t teach and educate your man just to get the change that you want to find in him. In other words, you can’t be both a teacher and a lover.
For a man to be inspired to change, he needs to look up to someone he admires and tries to emulate. Only then can he change for the better, but remember that he won’t be changing for you. He’ll be changing for his sake.
Is Your Relationship Suffering From Emotional Infidelity?
Emotional infidelity occurs when you or your partner become emotionally connected with someone outside your relationship, either in person or on the Internet.
How dangerous to a marriage or committed relationship is emotional infidelity?
One way of looking at emotional infidelity is that it is very dangerous, because it not only takes away time and energy from the marriage, but it can lead to sexual infidelity and possibly to the end of marriage.
Another way of looking at it is that it is a symptom of problems that already exist within a marriage. My experience with the couples that I work with is that, when the primary relationship is not emotionally and physically intimate, each person may be vulnerable to a form infidelity - either emotional and/or physical. Rather than blaming the affair for the problems, why not address the real problem?
Emotional affairs are compelling because it is so easy to be close with someone with whom you have no shared responsibility - no money issues, no children, no chores. It is easy to share your deepest feelings with someone with whom you have no conflict. It is easy to get the good feelings that you get when someone who doesn’t live with you and doesn’t see all your issues thinks you are wonderful. But it is a cop-out - an easy way out of dealing with the real issues at hand. And if this affair does lead to a break up of your marriage and into a new permanent relationship, the chances are you will end up with the same problems! So why waste your time? Why not deal with the problems now?
