Perfect Love Stories

We all want to make sex as good as it can be for our partners. But there’s more to good sex than choosing the best sex position - you have to know which sex positions and techniques to avoid! So here is a list of things for men to avoid during sex, along with some advice about the best sex positions - the ones that will make sex great for both of you!

First Sex Position Mistake: Pushing your partner to do anything she isn’t comfortable with. So, if you’ve been thinking of trying the outrageous sex positions adopted by some porn stars, forget it! Start from a more realistic place. Being comfortable for a woman involves two things: first of all, she has to be physically comfortable. That might mean she isn’t going to feel too happy if you ask her to put her ankles behind her ears while you have sex. It might also mean that you have to avoid any position that gives you the deepest penetration, since your penis might bang her cervix and give her some serious discomfort. Second, she has to emotionally comfortable.So if you treat her like one of those porn stars, she isn’t going to be too happy either, and you’re not likely to be invited back to bed. This includes: wanting to ejaculate over her without her whole-hearted agreement, using dirty talk that is disrespectful to her, wanting to slap her butt if she isn’t into it, and generally treating her like a sex

object rather than a person. Second Sex Position Mistake: Being too much of a gentleman. There’s an old saying: “A gentleman takes his weight on his arms.” If you think this is the best way to behave during sex in the man on top position, did you ever try asking your partner what she wants? A lot of women like to feel the weight of their man on top of them during sex - they say things like: it makes them feel safe, secure, loved, or that they just like to feel the energy and power of their man in this position. Sure, if you’re a lot heavier than she is, you might squash her, so exercise some judgement, but generally, in the man on top position, let her feel your weight!

Third Sex Position Mistake: Don’t just lie there all the time when she’s having fun. If she’s on top, riding you, remember that you can still move during sex in this position, even if it’s only a little bit. You can thrust your hips to match her movements, raise your knees to alter the angle at which your penis enters her vagina, and caress her breasts and clitoris if she’s facing you while you have sex. Remember - you don’t like it if she lies motionless during man on top sex, so in this position, return the favour and move about yourself!

Fourth Sex Position Mistake: Being too aggressive during sex. Sure, some women like rough sex, either all the time or once in a while, but for a woman, sex tends to be something special and she’d like you to treat it that way too! That means not pumping away aggressively without her encouragement, not being selfish (i.e. having an orgasm yourself but not bothering to make sure she has one too), and not moving her around roughly during sex. If you want to show how much of a man you are by being a bit dominant, do it with firmness and kindness, rather than flinging her around the bed like a rag doll. Needless to say, this advice applies whatever sex position you are using!

Fifth Sex Position Mistake: Sticking to the same old sex positions every time you make love. Sure, you don’t have to try all the adventurous and challenging positions you can find on the internet, but a bit of variation really adds spice to your sex life. Even if you’re extremely fond of the man on top position, for example, sex in the rear entry or side by side positions will let you see things very differently, may well get you much more aroused, and will certainly give you both some different sensations!

Rod Phillips

Moving Past the Pick Up Line

Do you wonder what it would be like to HAVE a social life… Are you in a relationship that precludes spending time with anyone except your partner? If you are not “allowed” to go out with your friends, or alone, or if you have to “ask” for permission to do so, there is something wrong!

Do you get accused of extramarital affairs? I don’t thing anything sucks more than being accused of wanting to have sex with every man on the planet, especially after your sex drive has been effectively decimated by a partner who doesn’t respect you in the bedroom.

Does your partner stay out late regularly? Does s/he phone well after the time expected home and come up with some excuse why s/he’s late, and then say “I’ll be there soon” and not show up for hours? Or have you made plans to meet at a certain time and they don’t show up, or they are so late you can’t do what was planned?

Does your partner drive recklessly? Swear at every other driver on the road? Speed unnecessarily, particularly in the city? Do you feel safe driving in the same car?

Has your partner ever told you “no one will ever love you as much as I do”?

Do you ever wonder if you are alone with your thoughts and fears about relationships?

Do you ever think that maybe you are just imagining how bad your situation is because of all the media attention that abuse is getting these days?

Do you ever hear yourself saying…It’s not THAT bad, really… except when…”?

Do your friends ever say…”You deserve better than that…”?

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1. You’re not as detached as you think.
Call it the curse (and blessing) of Sex and the City. Guys finally got the message that just because a woman wants to get naked with him doesn’t mean she wants a marriage proposal. However, it also advanced the idea of unemotional sex, which according to science is more difficult than it seems.

In her book Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both (Riverhead Hardcover, 2007), author Laura Sessions Stepp highlights research studies that conclude having sex releases a different set of brain chemicals in women than men.

Specifically, women get a large dose of oxytocin, the hormone that makes you want to bond and create relationships. Men don’t get the oxytocin warm-fuzzies because of testosterone, making it easier for them to “love and leave,” at least biologically speaking.

Stepp says that evolution has hard-wired us for these tendencies, which can be confusing in our sexually liberated world. So be warned: You may want the sex to be casual… but you could end up with a serious case of attachment.

2. He may be cheating on someone else… with you!
Why is this your problem, you may ask? You’re not the one being unfaithful. But do you really want to be the “other woman?” The one who breaks up a relationship and causes another woman’s heartbreak? We’re guessing not.

Even the sneakiest guy can give away clues that he’s taken:
He only gives you his cell phone number and always leaves the room to take calls.
He’s quick to suggest hanging out at your place but never offers up his own digs.
He avoids taking you to certain neighborhoods (and not because they’re dangerous).
Suddenly no one has a name. He was out with “the guys” or “people from work.”
He becomes defensive when you ask him questions about his weekend plans, where he hangs out, etc.

Even if you’re not planning a long-term relationship with the guy, you should steer clear of him and his unfaithful ways. And if you’re hoping your night of passion leads to a hand-holding, boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, just know that once a cheater, always a cheater.

3. He’s a taker.
“Taking” isn’t always about money. A guy can be a taker in other ways – time, attention, your sexual generosity.

But first, the money: There’s no right or wrong about who pays for dates, as long as you’re both okay with the arrangement. However, if you open your wallet more often than you’d like and you’ve expressed this to him, then it’s probably time to cash in and call it quits.

He may also exploit your attraction in other ways. Can you pick him up from the airport? (Cabs cost so much!) Do his laundry? (He’s out of soap.) Host a couple of his buddies to watch the game? (You’re such a good cook.) Buy his mom a birthday present? (He has no idea what to get.) If any of these sound familiar, you’ve got a taker.

Unfortunately, this attitude usually continues in the bedroom. Don’t expect this guy to be attentive to your needs and preferences – most likely, his pleasure comes first and probably last.

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Hot - or hopeless? Find out how you rate as a lover and pray you’re not guilty of any of these…

1. We don’t know enough about sex – or his bits.

‘She goes all giggly and girly whenever I try to talk to her about how to touch and excite me. She thinks it’s cute but I find it insulting that not only wouldn’t she have the first clue about how my penis works, she’s got no interest in finding out.’
He’s right – you do need to know some basic anatomy. While it’s true that what worked with Barry won’t necessarily work with Brian, our genitals are all wired up the same way and most of us have the same hot spots. Sex is a bit like typing. We can all sit down in front of a computer keyboard and bash something out using two fingers. But you’re never going to be as good as the person who uses 10 and took the touch-typing course. Buy a good sex book and study it. Once you’ve got the basic biology figured, combine it with ‘field research’ – touching and testing the areas that are meant to feel good when stimulated – and you’re bound to be a better lover than the girl who’s stuck at the point-and-giggle-at-his-dangly-bits stage.

2. We expect men to be mind-readers.

‘I asked if she’d had an orgasm and she said no. I asked her why and she said ‘Because I felt like oral sex and you didn’t give me any. If you really loved me, you’d have known that was what I wanted’.

Sorry girls but again, I’m on his side. Expecting your lover to second-guess your every desire is rubbish. Just because someone knows you well and wants to please you, doesn’t mean they suddenly have access to a crystal ball. Plenty of women think their lover comes equipped with an amazing radar which allows him to know exactly what she’s in the mood for at that exact moment with absolutely no input from her. Well, speak up or forever lie back and think of England.

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Now being female you’d think I’d have a pretty good take on this one wouldn’t you! Well I do and I don’t. Women can come across as sweet innocent and vulnerable when in reality they might be lean mean manipulating machines! Game players extraordinaire , and therein the problem lies. While some women may show classic signs of being in love, such as being very clingy and bombarding you with an endless stream of texts/emails and phone calls, there are others who play a much more cunning game and will do the exact opposite of what you might expect from someone who is interested in you.

The game may involve, NOT being available for you, not chasing and not accommodating your every whim. This game is supposed to make it more of chase for you and thus men being men, will be more interested if there is a chase rather than it being handed to them on a plate.

Game playing aside, let’s start at the beginning. What are the subtle signs a woman likes you? Assuming you have just met, this may involve a few of the following:

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I expect only men can really answer this question, but I suspect that generally men who are ‘in love’ will want to keep a strong hold on their ‘prize’ namely you and thus they will show some sign of wanting a commitment. The commitment could be in the form of engagement, marriage, living together, exchanging rings, or even a tattoo of your name printed across his chest!

Does this mean the notoriously commitment shy men don’t love you? Not necessarily so. It could though mean that they are not quite sure of how they feel and do not fully appreciate just HOW much they love you. This is a common problem for men who spend years with a woman, refusing to commit and then one day they find the woman has packed her bags and moved on. Only then do they seem to realise what they had and what they have now lost and go into over drive trying to get the lost love back. But for the woman, this could be too little too late.

Other signs of ‘love’ might be attentiveness. The man might desire and seek out your company and perhaps lavish you in affection and or gifts.

Some women may think faithfulness is a sign of love and that an absence of it is evidence of no love, but I’m not so sure about that one. Sex and love mean very different things for men and women and I know from the male friends I have had who strayed from their partners that they DID love them very much. What makes men unfaithful when they love someone is the topic of another blog!

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There’s seldom a woman who can tolerate her cheater hubby. So, before you catch him red handed, we can offer you some of the warning signs:

A cheater, in the initial stages of his affair, is bound to have guilty feelings in his mind. So, he suddenly becomes more dutiful in fulfilling the requirements of his spouse. If your husband has started showing unnecessary attention towards you, then you have reasons to suspect that he is on his way to have an extramarital affair.

To diminish his guilty feelings, he starts giving you costly gifts. You can call these presents ‘guilt gifts’.

If you study your partner minutely, then you will surely stumble upon certain changes in his behavior and attitude. ‘He is not the same as he used to be’ – if your instincts say so; then you are in the right track.

As his affair grows, you turn into a disgusting object in his eyes. He just looks for chances to pick up a fight with you and walks out of home. These sorts of actions are nothing but creating opportunities for meeting his lover.

He is talking about the probability of ending your relationship. When you two start discussing about your future, he is the one to point out all the negative aspects.

You are observing frequent mood-swings in his behavior. As if he has just got escape from the prison, he looks cheerful when he’s leaving for office, but returns home with a gloomy face.

If your partner is thinking of running both his relationships simultaneously, he will surely face problems from both ends and once you read his face, it will show he is not quite at ease with himself.

You two are staying under the same roof and sharing the same bed, but the zing is missing somewhere. Previously, he used to chat with you for long hours, but now the level of interaction has dipped drastically.

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Forgive! Let go and release. Forgiving is a very real and stressful situation. Anytime another has wronged you , it is hard to just forgive and let things be over. Everyone is out for that sweet revenge. This is part of human nature.

Forgiving others is very hard. This is only part of the problem. Sometimes it is just as hard for people to forgive themselves for something they have done wrong. This often happens in relationships. Begging for forgiveness can be very complicated and involves a lot of humanity and wisdom. Without forgiveness there can never be a lasting love.

It is therefore important, for those who care about lasting relationships to better comprehend the motions of forgiveness. Forgiveness takes an act of will power. If you have any intention of living together, forgiveness is strongly recommended.

Anytime one falls in love they become very vulnerable. If you are to be forgiven, you are required to do the same. You are never safe from forgiveness in a relationship. When entering a relationship one brings a lot of past baggage. There are various experiences that have accumulated from the past. You enter into this relationship open for disappointment and hurt. Living in the shadow of fear from your past can cause serious obstruction.

When anyone is wronged, they always look to blame the other. You feel innocent and want revenge. Only one believes that justice has been done when they can hurt the ones that have hurt them. Many people expect others to suffer a lifetime for the wrong they have caused them. Only then does one consider the slate being wiped clear. How many times have you accomplished finding revenge only to find yourself alone and unfulfilled? What satisfaction is there to gain in causing others to suffer?

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Ultimately everyone is searching for his or her soul mate. However, when searching for true love will you know it when you find it? People often disagree about what love is or what the word love truly means. Our learned or conceived ideas about love and the many features and concepts we apply to love are endless.
For example, there is no proof that love at first sight exists. Perhaps it’s better to state there is attraction at first sight and such attraction may develop into love given the proper momentum and direction as the relationship unfolds.

There is only one true happiness in life, to love and be loved. But, once again, what is love?
Can love be classified as a strong affection for another person arising out of kinship or personal ties? Is it the dictionary’s description of a warm attachment, devotion, admiration, loyalty, and benevolent concern for the good of another?

How can a person identify love or know when they have found that one true love? It is said that pure loves comes, not from the heart, but from the soul. Of course there are physical and emotional aspects of love that are triggered by the development of a loving relationship. Have you ever felt your heart beating rapidly or butterflies in the bottom of your stomach when you notice that certain person? That moment when you kiss that special person, does everything around you become hazy and the only thing in focus is you and that person?

When you realize that this wonderful person is the only one you want to be with for the rest of eternity, does your heart fill with joy, do you want to laugh and cry, are you suddenly fearful that this feeling will go away? Can you see heaven in their smile? Are you completely swept away? Do you become insanely protective, filled with yearning, hope, and nervous anxiety all at the same time? How should you feel when you are with this special person? Are you proud to be with them and do they take pride in being with you? When your hands join as one do you feel a thousand sensations; a tingling that will not disappear?

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